Abby's World

The Emancipation of Abby

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 16:22:59 GMT

It has been a hectic few weeks around this place, to say the least. I'm no longer moving to the GTA (old news for most of you), which means slowly unpacking our stuff as well as fixing all the stupid little things around here we weren't going to bother with when we thought we were leaving (things like painting over those dreadful prison grey-blue walls). The place is still in a state of unfinishedness but at least we've made a dent in it.

On to the topic which the subject implied - the end of a marriage.

Just before Tara left for the tiny village of Coboconk we filed for divorce. While she was here for Em's graduation out of Elementary and into the realm of Junior High, we began stage two of the proceedings. This was on Wednesday the 27th. This past week, I received an envelope in the mail in my own handwriting - The divorce order. It was issued on the 29th, and takes effect 31 days later. Meaning my ties to Tara are now legally limited to the custody of Emily. I have been emancipated.

Setting The Record Straight

Sat, 16 Jun 2007 04:10:01 GMT

It has been said by more than a few philosophers that friendship, like love, is unconditional. It places no limits or qualifications on anyone. In essence, true friendship is not based on whether or not you are doing everything your friend expects of you, or even what you do at all. It is based on how much care and concern you have for one another's welfare.

Having been put recently in the position of proving I still want to be a friend to someone, I can tell you that even with the best of intentions it is still possible for a friend to perceive lack of communication as not caring, even if the reasons for not being in closer contact are legitimate. The hurt that such a lack of contact produces is very real to the person on the receiving end of the loss of contact.

I have had to make a difficult decision about how best to prove that my intentions are sincere, and though I resent having to prove myself, I intend to do so anyway. Such is the value I place on this friendship.

My friend (she knows who she is) volunteered to help move me at months' end. I am presently making other arrangements so that she will know, beyond any doubt, that my reasons for attempting to resolve our dispute and mend whatever fences she feels need to be mended are not based on needing her help, but rather a genuine desire to not allow this friendship to die without a fight.

My lack of regular communication with her and others will be over as soon as I actually have a confirmed place to live. I only hope that the damage caused by my silence is not too extensive.

Argh! Matey!

Fri, 12 Jan 2007 03:22:48 GMT

Your LiveJournal Pirate Crew
LiveJournal Username
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
Cutlass or pistol?
What is the name of your pirate ship?
Where is your secret pirate base?
What kind of loot do you prefer?
What do you and your crew prefer to be called?
Parrot or monkey?
Argh!

Your capable first mate	transgressor
Your bumbling cabin boy with a heart of gold	radargrrl
The aloof, yet honorable, pirate with a mysterious past	transgressor
Is always the first one into the fray	radargrrl
Is the naval officer who ruthlessly pursues your ship	whirlwitch
Is the comical pirate who is always drunk on grog	radargrrl
Is currently in Davy Jones's locker	transgressor
The amount of money you make as a pirate	$65,921


This Fun Quiz created by Lynn at BlogQuiz.Net

Capricorn Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

Brain Gender

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 15:01:59 GMT

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Femmie mostly

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 14:58:23 GMT

You Are 77% Feminine, 23% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side.
Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you.
And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

What kind of Lesbian Are You

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 14:28:10 GMT

You scored as The Student Dyke. Your entire life is defined by two things: your intellect and your sexuality; moreover you often merge the two to lure in women.

</td>

The Student Dyke

60%

The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke

35%

The Stud

25%

The Pretty-Boi Dyke

25%

The Femme Fatale

20%

The Surprise! Dyke

20%

The Quasi-Gothic Femme

15%

The Sprightly Elfin Femme

10%

The Granola Dyke

10%

The Little-Boy Dyke

10%

The Bohemian Dyke

10%

The Magic Earring Ken Dyke

The Hipster Dyke

What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with QuizFarm.com

I Am The Damned

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 20:09:50 GMT

Over the past few days, I have been put through a living nightmare. Someone I have held as a dear friend decided I was the enemy, and tossed me aside like so much garbage. She said a final goodbye, to which my partner then responded (via my LJ account) by calling her on it. Something akin to "If it's goodbye now it's goodbye forever". From that point on, I have been demonized by my (now former, I guess) friend, who has trashed me for not standing by her to the point of having me in tears. I have watched the closest friendship I have ever known disintegrate into nothing, leaving both of us feeling betrayed. I sat by as she removed me from her LJ friends list, then thrashed me for abandoning her. I briefly decided to remove her from MY LJ, largely out of spite, then thought better of it and decided that doing that would only prove to her that she was right. I await whatever fallout may come from this, but I know now what hell is. No matter how often I have stood in her corner, as well as the corners of others, I am damned. Damned not for what I have done that is good, but for what I haven't done, and for what evil was percieved to have been done. Nothing will ever remove this from me. I once offered to remove myself from the new support group list if it would mean she would stay, only to have that offer rejected as unnecessary. I now find myself asking if perhaps it would be best if I followed through with my offer. If doing this would heal the wounds, I would do so in an instant. It is, I fear, not enough. Nothing ever will be.

Fallen Dreams

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 23:19:23 GMT

Well, I made it through Monday without too much of a funk hitting me. For many, the 9/11 anniversary was about remembering the deaths and the losses, particularly the loss of innocence. For me, it has a very different connection. It was on that day 5 years ago that I had an epiphany, brought on by the loss of so many lives. I began to ask myself if, had I been in that place, I would want to die living the lie. Life is far too short, and death allows no quarter. I knew, in those horrible moments as the twin towers came crashing down, that I could no longer live as if "I can always fix this later". So, in a strange way, the towers collapsing became symbolic of my own walls coming down. The day was bitter-sweet, and each anniversary where I am still not yet whole is just as bitter-sweet.

Fast forward to today, where I heard my neighbour yelling something which sounded like a slur against trans-people. (I can't be sure, but it sounded like gender and man were being said in a way that says he thinks I'm a man in drag.) It only hurt long enough to create a ruined dinner, then it became my rallying cry. We must educate the fools who still see us Ts as men in dresses, or crap like this will never go away.

Still, I admit it sucks to think that one of the few men I have ever gotten along with might not be so open minded as I once believed. Then again, maybe some dreams should remain fallen.

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 19:18:59 GMT

You scored as III - The Empress. The Empress is a maternal symbol. She is the mother figure who loves, nurtures and protects.
She will protect you, she will always be there when you are in trouble. When you fall over and graze your knee, the Empress will kiss it better.
Yet she is not a weak figure. Her compassion is strength. If her children are threatened she will stop at nothing to protect them. If well aspected in a Tarot spread, the Empress can symbolise security, protection and unconditional love. If badly aspected it can represent over-protectiveness, fear of risk taking and refusal to face the real world.

</td>

III - The Empress

88%

XI: Justice

75%

II - The High Priestess

75%

XIII: Death

69%

0 - The Fool

56%

X - Wheel of Fortune

56%

VIII - Strength

56%

XIX: The Sun

56%

I - Magician

50%

VI: The Lovers

50%

XVI: The Tower

50%

IV - The Emperor

44%

XV: The Devil

25%

Which Major Arcana Tarot Card Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

Isolation

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 13:38:18 GMT

Last night a song came into my head. It was by Bruce Cockburn about the destruction of the rainforests. If A Tree Falls. The chorus is "If a tree falls in the forest does anybody hear?". It sprang to mind because, in my depressed state, I wondered if anybody would notice if one of our T community fell. "If a T falls into depression, does anybody care?" That has been my state of mind for the past three days. It is the first time in more than two years that I have gotten down and not been able to pick myself up again right away.

I had a meltdown over SRS funding (or lack of it), and then started realizing that the very support group I have been attempting to help resurrect was needed by ME. If the group fails to resurface, who do I turn to then?

The pain of others...

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 21:10:25 GMT

One of the hardest things to endure is when someone you care for deeply is hurting and you can't seem to do anything to help them. It sucks.

Over the past few weeks I have watched as one "safe" space after another becomes less safe, and the person responsible for it laughs with glee at the torment it causes. I am referring, of course, to BritNat.

The only thing I can do to help those who have been affected by this creature is to support my friends and family, especially you Natalie my twin.

Hang in there, dear. The cavalry is coming...